We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
