the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
