Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
