i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize