Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
