Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sarcasm needs its own font
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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