I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
