was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
