Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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