As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
