Girls should come with a carfax report
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
