He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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