at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
