remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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