Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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