I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
