that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
