Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
