He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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