It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
