I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
