I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
