I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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