I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
