u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
