Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
