I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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