my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
