can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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