If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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