who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize