One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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