I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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