i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
