Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
