so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
