I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
