i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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