Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
