I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Naked. naked and bneed help.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
