The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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