I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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