So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
