..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hate all girls vehemently.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
