You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
