Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Randomize
