Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
