David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
