god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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