I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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