you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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