I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
