Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His nipple licking is glorious
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