it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you didnt know i had herpes?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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