so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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