just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
