onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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