5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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