Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
