ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
