just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize