Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
